Time Flies!

Happy New Year from the middle of January. Where has time gone?? It's crazy. New Years was nice... Steve came to visit and it's always great to spend time with him. We didn't do much but that's okay with me =). It's always so hard to say goodbye though. The distance is sure getting exhausting. It's going to be an amazing, incredible day when we don't have to deal with that anymore!

I'm doing therapy and everything seems to be going really well. I can finally walk with a shoe and I'm getting around SO much better. The scars are still pretty vivid on my ankle but not as bad as I thought it would be. My ankle still swells up and gets all weirdly colored sometimes. I'm going to TOSH physical therapy in Murray and it seems to be a nice facility. Normally people go into a room that has like 10 therapy beds and you sit down and whoever is free helps you out (there are usually 4 or 5 therapists there) but a guy named David helped me out on my first day and decided to stick with me. Still not sure why but I'm thinking because he feels like my ankle has potential? Hehe. Anyway, I go twice a week into his time slot so he's pretty much the only one I deal with. He's really nice! He has helped me so much. I haven't been able to rotate too much but he sits down every week with me and bends it around. It hurts and one time I almost passed out from the pain (I actually saw black dots... scary!) but I am so ready for it to be back to normal and to not hurt anymore. I hope that day comes soon! I'm having a really hard time turning my ankle inward though... everytime I do there is this sharp stab of pain that hurts SO bad. David also seems to be a nice guy which relaxes me a little. He's always talking to me about the tattoo he's going to be getting. I guess since I have a tatoo on my ankle and we go to the same place he figures we can be buddy buddy. It's pretty funny actually. But keep your fingers crossed for continued progress! I can't wait till its all done!

Bella has been doing great. She's growing like a weed. Getting so big! She's a little terror right now though. She loves to bite, eat her poop, and cause general mayhem. She's a lot of fun though and I just love her to pieces.

Hope you all are doing well!!

Merry Christmas!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!! Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!!! I got some really nice presents =). My favorite is this really, really nice digital picture frame. It holds up to 5,000 pictures, is an alarm clock, and is also a calander. It's a touch screen too! I love it! I haven't looked through it yet too much but I'm excited!

I finally got my cast off on Tuesday! I'm very happy about it. It didn't hurt too bad to take it off though it's a little scary to see a saw cutting so close to your leg. My leg looked ok. Lost some muscle but nothin serious. My foot looked gross though. My entire top layer of skin was comin off and my tattoo is kinda massacred. I took a shower the night i got it off though and washed a lot of gunk off. It wasnt pretty but it's lookin better now. Here's some pictures!



This side is by far the worst. Its on the outside of my leg. The blue thing was my tattoo *sigh*


Closer image of that.


Front part of my foot is swollen.



Ths is the other side... not as bad but still not pretty.

The blue cast I had for month and half!!

Bella is also doing really good! She hasn't been sick since my cousin brought her back! I'm really grateful for that. She's also gotten SO attached to me. She's my little shadow. She follows me EVERYWHERE and panics when I leave. She has even been known to wait at the door for me for hours till I get home. It's cute. She wasn't eating anything at all hardly for awhile there and I was worried. But I just switched her food and she likes it A LOT more. She doesn't eat a ton but she is really tiny and she at least eats once a day which is more than she was doing before. I have to get her second round of shots next week so I can ask the vet about it then. Oh and of course I just said that and she threw up. Weird. Hopefully she just ate something funky off the floor. I hope that is all *sigh* But here are a couple pictures =)

Her Christmas shirt... haha... my mom made me buy it and put it on her

Me and Bella =)

I have posted a few recent pictures of my niece. I know I'm a little obsessed but she is so darn cute.... I can't help it =)

This is Ciera and by brother. I think this is the cutest little picture!

She likes to blow kisses now!

This is me and her at a wedding we went to a couple weeks ago.

These are my two nephews who live out of state... Lorenzo and Joseph with their half sister Ciera

Haha... little Santa.

I LOVE this picture. SHe looks so cute!

Ciera and her brother Ramon. This is the little shit that's having a baby. He was scared to hold her. Psh. He better get used to that.

Well that's my update for now! Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas! Be safe out there =).... stupid snow!

Of Casts and Bella =)

I get my cast off in 2 weeks! Yay! That’s pretty much an important thing for me right now… I can’t wait. My leg is itching like crazy… no matter what I do. I’ve tried everything! The most successful technique seems to be finding the longest spoon I can find and sticking it down there. It feels pretty amazing when I do this but it’s just not enough. There are some parts of my leg that I just can’t get to and it drives me CRAZY. I’m also really nervous for the cast to come off too. The doctor, who is very blunt, basically told me that it’s going to hurt. Removing the cast won’t be a problem but trying to use my ankle with no support system is a completely different story. I have to go to work after too… hopefully I’ll be able to walk =(. He said I wouldn’t be getting a walking boot (since I’ve done well with this walking cast I have on now) but something else that might help. Eeek! I wish he explained things better. But I guess there is no point in stressing about it… we’ll see what happens when it happens. Despite all that… I can’t tell you how excited I am to take a normal shower with no garbage bags around my leg or no sticking my leg out. I miss the simple things *sigh* I’m trying really hard to walk without a limp right now. Haven’t been successful yet but I am determined. I can more or less get around on my own now but I still use one crutch for balance from time to time. My ankle hurts quite a bit these days from all the use I think so I’m taking that as a good sign. After all this comes Physical Therapy and I don’t really know what to expect from that so I haven’t given it much thought. Can’t wait for December 23 though!! Wahoo!!

Bella has been doing really good. I’m still really nervous about everything when it comes to her just because she kinda traumatized me when I first got her. I worry about her a lot… I’m like a hypochondriac. I think it’s because even though I am a really mature person… I have never had to care for something or someone else you know? She’s my responsibility and I’ve gotten so attached to her… I just really worry. She just does the weirdest things and it freaks me out! She won’t eat in the morning and hardly eats at all unless you play with her for hours. My dad has been sick so he’s been home with her the past couple weeks but when he’s better and goes back to work she’ll be in her crate for at least 7 hours. It makes me sad but everyone I know that has a small dog does it so I guess she’ll adjust with time. But if she refuses to eat or drink in the morning… will she be okay? I dunno. And then she sleeps SO much. I don’t know if it’s normal but people tell me that it is. She’ll play for like a half hour and then knock out for a couple hours. I get all paranoid that she’s depressed or sick or something. And the grossest thing is that she eats her poop. UGH. I dunno how to break that habit but I’m going to need to. How can I leave her alone?? Maybe it’s a good thing she doesn’t eat in the morning… haha. But anyway… it’s such a gross habit and I don’t catch her all the time. She knows she’ll get in trouble so sometimes she’ll go to a corner where I can’t see. I asked the vet if it’d make her really sick and he said that she should be fine… he’s never heard of a dog getting sick from eating their feces. It’s just GROSS. I need to start teaching her to go potty outside. She is really, really good now on going on potty pads. She knows right where to go and hasn’t had an accident in awhile. But she is stubborn… I don’t know how well she’ll cooperate. Because of her, I still have my bed upstairs in the dining room. But what happens when I go back down to my room? I think she’s probably going to make a disaster of my carpet and how can I get her to understand that she needs to go up the stairs and to the back door when she needs to go potty? Man oh man. And pluuus… she is a vacuum. She eats EVERY tiny little thing she finds on the floor. Every piece of stray carpet, lint, tissue paper… EVERYTHING. I’m like one of those mom’s that freak out all the time cuz I’m worried something is going to get lodged into her throat. Haha. But on the bright side of things… she does seem to be doing well. I taught her to sit and I’m trying to teach her not to bite, to watch me when I tell her to, and to come. She’s worst at the “come” one. If she’s doing something and doesn’t want to be bothered, she’ll just ignore me. Including when she’s trying to eat her poop. She bites a lot too because she’s teething. I heard this is normal too and she’ll grow out of it (I hope) but man those things are getting SHARP. I have little bite marks all over my hands. I took her to get her second set of shots over the weekend. She did SO good. She didn’t even flinch. And then I went over to a friend’s from work, Karon, and she showed me how to give her a bath. She has three little dogs so I knew she’d be the best one to help me. She did a great job! Bella smelled SO fresh and she was so fluffy and cute. She didn’t particularly like the bath but she didn’t freak out as much as I thought either. She hated the blow dryer though… when I do it on my own, we may have a problem.

Other than that, life has been the same. Back to working full time again. It’s nice but I do get more tired throughout the day than I used to. I’ve been sick but it seems to be getting better other than the non-stop hacking cough I seem to get at night. It’s really frustrating to not be able to sleep. My dad has it worse… his turned into a little bit of pneumonia but he seems to be getting better too. Everyone I know has some type of cold or another. Hopefully I won’t get another one until I’m stronger and can fight it off a little better!

Another week... more stress

Well I had both a good and bad week and I'm not sure where to start exactly. I really need to keep up on this a little better.

1. I got my new cast! It's a lot better! It's my favorite color of blue. I'll have to take a picture of it. It still goes up to my knee which is a pain in the ass but I'll live because the cast is a little tighter and more fitted to my leg so its much less bulky. They had to saw off the old cast which is a pretty scary experience. It isn't comforting to see a saw go through your cast and hit your leg. It doesn't go through soft things like skin but it's a weird feeling. The nurse had to take off tons of padding that were just soaked in dry blood. Not good for my stomach. Then I had to pull my leg out of the cast which hurt because my ankle is so used to being supported by something. Then came the worst part. I looked down at my ankle and it looked SO BAD. Staples were holding my skin together on both sides of my leg (it just looks nasty... staples and skin just... ew). And I'll have you know that the damn doctor cut right through my tattoo on my ankle... so now I am going to have this huge scar through the middle of my tattoo until I can go get it covered up again. Ugh. Not to mention a huge scar on both sides of my foot and leg for the rest of my damn life. They pulled out the staples which I refused to watch but judging from how pale my dad's face got and the look of disgust on it... I can only imagine what it looked like. It didn't hurt like I though it would... more like a bunch of painful pinches. Some hurt worse cuz they were deeper and they bled so they had to be bandaged. If my damn leg looked that bad after 2 weeks... what is it going to look like in a month or so? I'm scared to even think about it. The hardest part was putting on the cast. They had to very, very slowly bend my ankle and my leg into a 90 degree angle. It took awhile and it hurt like hell. Then they put the new cast on. Overall, not a fun experience but I am glad I got that phase done so far. As far as my ankle goes, it still hurts alot but I am trying to work through that and put pressure on it so that it'll be as strong as I can get it. I took a couple of mini baby steps on it (using my crutches of course) which was a proud moment for me, no matter how bad it hurt. I can barely put any pressure on it but it's progress.

2. I saw Twilight 3 times this weekend! I don't know how I managed it, but I did. I absolutely LOVED it. The whole movie was just so much better than I anticipated. I really expected very little from it. All the characters were well chosen, especially Bella. Edward is hot as hell though his acting is a little questionable in places and he has some weird angles where he doesn't look cute at all but... he's Edward and I love him. Haha. Jacob was hot too... though Jacob will never be better in my eyes than Edward. I didn't like the way they made him glitter in the sunlight though. It was funny. And when he told her that he was a vampire and he was running all over the place... that was stupid. It was too much and that was his worst acting through the whole thing. But oh my god... the chemistry between them is amazing. There were a couple scenes where I was just melting. I feel like they did a pretty decent job at staying as close to the book as they could and adding enough to make a movie worth watching. Needless to say, it's one of my favorite movies already and I am already SO excited that they have announced they will be doing New Moon. Wahoo!! After I went with my mom on Saturday, we went to FYE and I bought the soundtrack... its great. I love it. Very unique music which I like a lot of the time.

3. I just have to say this... GO UTES!!!!! They kicked BYU's ass and made me SO happy. I hope they go another season undeafated. And anytime the Utes beat BYU is a damn good day for me =)

4. I went back to work last week for part time! I know most people probably wouldnt be too excited about it but it feels so good to be able to get out of the house and doing something useful. It feels nice to be around other people too. I'm hoping I'll be able to go back full time next week. Just trying to take it slow so I don't make myself sick.

5. I started feeling sick Saturday night (I think I overworked myself). I barely even slept. I was just so naseous and had the mother of all headaches all night. It continued all through Sunday too. Luckily I slept last night and I felt okay this morning but I am back to wanting to through up again now. Ugh. Not fun. I hope I am not getting the flu because that would probably be one of the worst things to happen to me right now. I think it might be the pain pills... I'm actually hoping it might be the pain pills because I can at least switch those. I dunno. Whatever it is, I am praying it'll go away. And soon =(

6. Now for the absolute worst part of my weekend. I woke up on Sunday to the phone ringing. It was my oldest nephew (he is 17), Ramon's mom calling (I have one brother and he has 4 kids... this was his first kid he had when he was 17). Me and Ramon grew up together almost as brother and sister (I am only 5 years older than him and I'm his aunt. Lol) We've always been really close. So his mom calls and says that she needs to talk to us. My heart kinda dropped but I figured he got in trouble at school or something. She comes over, we all sit down, and she tells us "Ramon is going to be a daddy." We just sat there in complete shock for a couple of minutes. My 17 year old nephew who is a junior in high school is going to have a goddamn baby. She started telling us that he was asking funny questions for awhile like "Was it hard for you to raise me when you were so young"... stuff like that. And then he came to her, started crying, and told her that his girlfriend (who he just met at the beginning of the school year) is pregnant. He explained that he told his younger brother first because he was so scared and his brother punched him and called him an idiot and he also told his friends who were all extremely pissed off that he was that stupid. I mean how could he be SO STUPID????? There are a million ways to stop yourself from getting into that situation. It's EASY. And now I am going to watch my NEPHEW have a baby before me. And my niece Ciera? She is going to be an aunt at one years old. HOW MESSED UP IS MY FAMILY??? My nephew is being an adult about it though. He promised to graduate high school, is going to get a job, is going to see his gf every day and take care of her, went over and spoke with her parents (who, needless to say, hate him with a passion). He says that he will be a part of his baby's life forever and he is going to be with the girl and take care of her too. He understands that he messed up but he is trying to take responsibility for it. But despite all that, I feel like my heart is broken. This is my little nephew. The little kid I did everything with. I have always felt so protective over him and wanted him to be a better person then my brother. And he is just a kid. He is shy (apparently not too shy) and nice and friendly and just a kid! He doesn't even know how to take care of Ciera or hold her. He is scared of babies. Terrified. And now he is going to be a dad. MY little nephew. I saw him be born. I played with him. I talked to him. We fought like brother and sister. I was always protective over him. And now he made the biggest mistake of his life and nothing will ever be the same again. I cried, then I threw up... but now I guess I have to accept that what's done is done and the only thing I can do is support him and let him know I will be there for him as much as I can. My mom and dad are teh same page. Wish it didn't happen but there is nothing that can be done. My brother on the other hand (his dad) is showing us all how much of an asshole he can be. I mean, I know my brother is a jerk. I know he is an immature child at 35 years old. I know all that. But apparently Ramon's mom told him last weekend. All my brother said is "Have him call me when he has the balls to me himself" So my nephew is absolutely terrified but he calls my brother.. and my brother ignores him. All week. My brother has ignored my nephew calling over and over and over from three different phones. He won't even talk to him. My brother didn't tell us. What a hypocrite right? He had Ramon when he was 17! And not only that... he just had Ciera not 10 months ago. He knew his gf 2 WEEKS before she got pregnant? How the hell can he condemn his son for the same thing? Ramon's mom (my bro's ex obviously) keeps telling Ramon not to worry about it. If my brother is gonna be an ass, let him be. Ramon has plenty of other people supporting him. My brother knows my mom is gonna be pissed off so he didn't come home yesterday. And I doubt he'll make an appearance for another couple of days. I hate my brother. I love him because he's my brother but I really don't like him as a person at all. None of us are happy about this whole thing but ignoring it isn't going to solve anything. What's done is done, there is no going back. I'm going to be a great aunt at 22 years old and my damn little nephew is having a baby before me. What. A. Mess.