Another week... more stress

Well I had both a good and bad week and I'm not sure where to start exactly. I really need to keep up on this a little better.

1. I got my new cast! It's a lot better! It's my favorite color of blue. I'll have to take a picture of it. It still goes up to my knee which is a pain in the ass but I'll live because the cast is a little tighter and more fitted to my leg so its much less bulky. They had to saw off the old cast which is a pretty scary experience. It isn't comforting to see a saw go through your cast and hit your leg. It doesn't go through soft things like skin but it's a weird feeling. The nurse had to take off tons of padding that were just soaked in dry blood. Not good for my stomach. Then I had to pull my leg out of the cast which hurt because my ankle is so used to being supported by something. Then came the worst part. I looked down at my ankle and it looked SO BAD. Staples were holding my skin together on both sides of my leg (it just looks nasty... staples and skin just... ew). And I'll have you know that the damn doctor cut right through my tattoo on my ankle... so now I am going to have this huge scar through the middle of my tattoo until I can go get it covered up again. Ugh. Not to mention a huge scar on both sides of my foot and leg for the rest of my damn life. They pulled out the staples which I refused to watch but judging from how pale my dad's face got and the look of disgust on it... I can only imagine what it looked like. It didn't hurt like I though it would... more like a bunch of painful pinches. Some hurt worse cuz they were deeper and they bled so they had to be bandaged. If my damn leg looked that bad after 2 weeks... what is it going to look like in a month or so? I'm scared to even think about it. The hardest part was putting on the cast. They had to very, very slowly bend my ankle and my leg into a 90 degree angle. It took awhile and it hurt like hell. Then they put the new cast on. Overall, not a fun experience but I am glad I got that phase done so far. As far as my ankle goes, it still hurts alot but I am trying to work through that and put pressure on it so that it'll be as strong as I can get it. I took a couple of mini baby steps on it (using my crutches of course) which was a proud moment for me, no matter how bad it hurt. I can barely put any pressure on it but it's progress.

2. I saw Twilight 3 times this weekend! I don't know how I managed it, but I did. I absolutely LOVED it. The whole movie was just so much better than I anticipated. I really expected very little from it. All the characters were well chosen, especially Bella. Edward is hot as hell though his acting is a little questionable in places and he has some weird angles where he doesn't look cute at all but... he's Edward and I love him. Haha. Jacob was hot too... though Jacob will never be better in my eyes than Edward. I didn't like the way they made him glitter in the sunlight though. It was funny. And when he told her that he was a vampire and he was running all over the place... that was stupid. It was too much and that was his worst acting through the whole thing. But oh my god... the chemistry between them is amazing. There were a couple scenes where I was just melting. I feel like they did a pretty decent job at staying as close to the book as they could and adding enough to make a movie worth watching. Needless to say, it's one of my favorite movies already and I am already SO excited that they have announced they will be doing New Moon. Wahoo!! After I went with my mom on Saturday, we went to FYE and I bought the soundtrack... its great. I love it. Very unique music which I like a lot of the time.

3. I just have to say this... GO UTES!!!!! They kicked BYU's ass and made me SO happy. I hope they go another season undeafated. And anytime the Utes beat BYU is a damn good day for me =)

4. I went back to work last week for part time! I know most people probably wouldnt be too excited about it but it feels so good to be able to get out of the house and doing something useful. It feels nice to be around other people too. I'm hoping I'll be able to go back full time next week. Just trying to take it slow so I don't make myself sick.

5. I started feeling sick Saturday night (I think I overworked myself). I barely even slept. I was just so naseous and had the mother of all headaches all night. It continued all through Sunday too. Luckily I slept last night and I felt okay this morning but I am back to wanting to through up again now. Ugh. Not fun. I hope I am not getting the flu because that would probably be one of the worst things to happen to me right now. I think it might be the pain pills... I'm actually hoping it might be the pain pills because I can at least switch those. I dunno. Whatever it is, I am praying it'll go away. And soon =(

6. Now for the absolute worst part of my weekend. I woke up on Sunday to the phone ringing. It was my oldest nephew (he is 17), Ramon's mom calling (I have one brother and he has 4 kids... this was his first kid he had when he was 17). Me and Ramon grew up together almost as brother and sister (I am only 5 years older than him and I'm his aunt. Lol) We've always been really close. So his mom calls and says that she needs to talk to us. My heart kinda dropped but I figured he got in trouble at school or something. She comes over, we all sit down, and she tells us "Ramon is going to be a daddy." We just sat there in complete shock for a couple of minutes. My 17 year old nephew who is a junior in high school is going to have a goddamn baby. She started telling us that he was asking funny questions for awhile like "Was it hard for you to raise me when you were so young"... stuff like that. And then he came to her, started crying, and told her that his girlfriend (who he just met at the beginning of the school year) is pregnant. He explained that he told his younger brother first because he was so scared and his brother punched him and called him an idiot and he also told his friends who were all extremely pissed off that he was that stupid. I mean how could he be SO STUPID????? There are a million ways to stop yourself from getting into that situation. It's EASY. And now I am going to watch my NEPHEW have a baby before me. And my niece Ciera? She is going to be an aunt at one years old. HOW MESSED UP IS MY FAMILY??? My nephew is being an adult about it though. He promised to graduate high school, is going to get a job, is going to see his gf every day and take care of her, went over and spoke with her parents (who, needless to say, hate him with a passion). He says that he will be a part of his baby's life forever and he is going to be with the girl and take care of her too. He understands that he messed up but he is trying to take responsibility for it. But despite all that, I feel like my heart is broken. This is my little nephew. The little kid I did everything with. I have always felt so protective over him and wanted him to be a better person then my brother. And he is just a kid. He is shy (apparently not too shy) and nice and friendly and just a kid! He doesn't even know how to take care of Ciera or hold her. He is scared of babies. Terrified. And now he is going to be a dad. MY little nephew. I saw him be born. I played with him. I talked to him. We fought like brother and sister. I was always protective over him. And now he made the biggest mistake of his life and nothing will ever be the same again. I cried, then I threw up... but now I guess I have to accept that what's done is done and the only thing I can do is support him and let him know I will be there for him as much as I can. My mom and dad are teh same page. Wish it didn't happen but there is nothing that can be done. My brother on the other hand (his dad) is showing us all how much of an asshole he can be. I mean, I know my brother is a jerk. I know he is an immature child at 35 years old. I know all that. But apparently Ramon's mom told him last weekend. All my brother said is "Have him call me when he has the balls to me himself" So my nephew is absolutely terrified but he calls my brother.. and my brother ignores him. All week. My brother has ignored my nephew calling over and over and over from three different phones. He won't even talk to him. My brother didn't tell us. What a hypocrite right? He had Ramon when he was 17! And not only that... he just had Ciera not 10 months ago. He knew his gf 2 WEEKS before she got pregnant? How the hell can he condemn his son for the same thing? Ramon's mom (my bro's ex obviously) keeps telling Ramon not to worry about it. If my brother is gonna be an ass, let him be. Ramon has plenty of other people supporting him. My brother knows my mom is gonna be pissed off so he didn't come home yesterday. And I doubt he'll make an appearance for another couple of days. I hate my brother. I love him because he's my brother but I really don't like him as a person at all. None of us are happy about this whole thing but ignoring it isn't going to solve anything. What's done is done, there is no going back. I'm going to be a great aunt at 22 years old and my damn little nephew is having a baby before me. What. A. Mess.