Rough Month!

Well I have had one hell of a week and so I decided it’s about time I blog about it because a lot of you are wondering what’s been going on. I haven’t even told anyone that I have a blog yet at this moment… but if you’re reading this it must mean I let you know… hehe. Anyway… So much has happened to me this past week! I don’t even know where to begin.

1. I got new couches! This may not seem like something great but it really was a little highlight in my life. I now have my own little mini apartment down in the basement! I have my room (which I cleaned out and organized to perfection last week), my bathroom, and now my living room all together. Mom and dad moved the old big screen tv and entertainment system down there as well as our old coffee tables. Now that I have the couches, it’s perfect. They are an off-white color (I either wanted white or black) and are SO comfy. It’s nice to be able to go down there and watch a movie in my own little comfort zone whenever I want. We got the couches from Ashley Furniture and they were only $500.00 for both the couch and the loveseat. Great deal! I’ll have to take a picture and post it when I can =)

2. I got a new puppy last Thursday! She is SO cute. She is a little imperial shih ztu and the most she will ever weigh will be around 7 pounds. She’s tiny. She only weighs about 2.5 pounds right now. She is black and white and brown and has the cutest little face you’ve ever seen. I’ll get some pictures up as soon as I am able! I am surprised how quickly I fell in love with her and how much we have bonded in only one week. She is really protective and loving of me and she’s already become my little shadow. She has such a cute, fun playful personality. It was a little rough the first couple of nights because she was scared and sad to be in a new home. She cried a bit during the night but after the first day she did great. The only time she cries at night now is when she has to go the bathroom which is good… she refuses to go in her little crate! However potty training her is a bit of a challenge. She is really stubborn! But we are working with her… she isn’t a fan of the potty pads for some reason. She’ll move them and then walk around on the carpet and go to the bathroom. A fact my mom is NOT happy about. Speaking of which… I thought my mom was going to disown me the night I got her. She was FURIOUS. But I gave her a few days and she learned to accept it and now my poor mom is basically taking care of her because I am stuck in bed all day (which I’ll get around to in a minute). My mom insists that she hates dogs and that she doesn’t even like my puppy. But I know she is warming up to her. She’s always laughing at the silly things she does or saying “Oh look how cute!” and coming to check on her when she’s being quiet. I messed around with a couple different names. I would look them up, find ones I liked and then try them out but NOTHING seemed to fit until I tried Bella. And it’s perfect. Bella just feels right so that’s what I named her. Her full name is Isabella Rose but I call her Bella for short.

All of this seems nice and bright and shiny and it was… until 2 days ago. Bella got really sick =(. For some reason she stopped eating, she stopped drinking, and all she would do is lay down and sleep. This was so unlike her so I got really worried and asked my friend to take her to the vet (I can’t go… for reasons I will get to). The vet determined that she had some sort of infection (though she couldn’t tell where) and gave her some antibiotics. I had a little breakdown when I found this out because I’m already going through a rough time as it is and I can’t believe that now I have even more to worry about with the only thing that was keeping me somewhat cheered up. Anyway… I was so relieved when it seemed like Bella was doing SO much better. She was almost completely back to her normal self yesterday morning (which I might add was my birthday) until she threw up and proceeded to stop eating and drinking and sleeping all day some more. Since it was my birthday, I had some friends coming over throughout the day to visit me and a really nice lady I work with, Karon, brought me a homemade cake (yum) and some cute presents. Anyway she saw how lethargic Bella was being and kinda freaked me out about the whole thing until I agreed to let her and my dad take Bella to a 24 hour pet hospital. They ran some more tests and while they couldn’t figure out what is wrong with her, they did see that she was ridiculously dehydrated. So they had to keep her over night last night. What a birthday present for me huh? I am now out 300 dollars (400 if you count the tests they did at the other vet) which is the same amount it cost me to pay for her. I feel so depressed and miserable and worried about getting her better and the dark side of me is admitting that my mom was/ is right. I wasn’t ready for a puppy. Now I love her too much to let her go but I can’t afford to keep taking care of her if she continues to get sick. I am putting a huge burden on both of my parents because now they have to take care of me (and I am pretty much a mess) but they also have to take care of Bella. My dad isn’t upset about having to take care of her but I think he is pretty mad that I got a puppy that is proving to cost me so much already. My mom hates dogs as it is and in slight, subtle ways tells me how stupid I am for having gotten Bella in the first place. I have to admit that I do feel pretty stupid but then again I am pretty depressed and miserable with my life at the moment so regret and feeling stupid and feeling guilty is all pretty easy for me right now. The whole thing (and it happening on my birthday while I am already feeling like crap) has made me so depressed. I’m really struggling with everything right now =(

3. And here is the main thing going on my life right now. I broke my ankle. Ugh. So on Monday I was getting Bella’s toy from upstairs before work and I was on my way back down to my room. I was on the bottom step when my shoe slipped off and I fell. Poor Bella was in my arms but she was okay. Anyway… I only fell down one stair but I twisted it ALL wrong. I heard the bone break as I fell. It sounded like a gunshot almost… it was so loud. And then I looked down and a small piece of my bone was sticking out through the skin. I started screaming hysterically and my dad (though two floors up in our house… AND he has a hearing problem from his accident) heard me loud and clear… he came running down. I was sorta hyperventilating from the pain so I asked him to get me some water and I calmed down a little (tiny actually) bit. Then came the hard part. My dad had to grab onto my ankle (which was in SO much unbelievable pain) and I had to slowly and stair by stair, pull myself up with my arms and one good leg on my butt up the fourteen steep stairs that lead to my room. Then I had to take a breath so I wouldn’t pass out (it really hurt that bad) and slide across the floor, out to the garage and down two more stairs. Then came the really hard part that took me 10 minutes from crying to be brave enough to do it. My dad had to let go of my ankle and let it dangle and then he had to help me pull myself up and hop (painfully) the car. I finally got in and wanted to go to a really good hospital like LDS or the University of Utah or even that new IHC hospital but I was just in too much pain that I asked him to take me to Pioneer (which doesn’t have as good a rep but is much closer.) I finally got there, he got me a wheelchair, and I got checked in. I had to wait about 10 minutes but then they took me to get an x-ray and it turns out I broke 2 bones on both sides of my left ankle. Ouch. The doctor explained that this is an extremely bad break and it required surgery that day. I kinda freaked at this too because I have never had surgery before and the whole idea has always kinda scared me. I have had anesthesia before but for some reason I have this weird fear that they are going to put me to sleep and I won’t wake up. I guess I watch too much Grey’s Anatomy… lol. Anyway. They moved me to my own room on the second floor where I was given tons of pain meds through my IV (which I was so grateful for). They made my mouth dry though and I couldn’t drink anything which kinda sucked. I finally got my surgery at 3 and it was only supposed to take about an hour but it ended up taking two hours to get it all fixed. I was scared right before the surgery and they gave me something to help me calm down and to be honest I don’t remember anything after that. Lol. But I woke up with a big old white, heavy cast on my leg that goes all the way up to my knee. They had already cut it just in case swelling became problem (luckily it hasn’t… yet). I spent two days in the hospital which were challenging. I hate having to ask someone to do everything for me but I had to get used to it because I couldn’t get to the bathroom without some help. I came home on Wednesday. It has been feeling a lot better over these past couple days (knock on wood) thanks to Percocet a lot. I don’t have to take the pain pills as frequently now which I am relieved about. I am also starting to get the hang of the crutches though I am still far from daring to call myself good. I’m definitely a work in progress.

So all in all, I have been feeling really depressed what with Bella and me being so helpless. It’s also really frustrating and annoying to have to spend everyday, almost all day, confined to my bed. Which, by the way, my dad moved up into the dining room so I don’t have to worry about any stairs. I was being quite optimistic about this whole mess but now I’m just feeing like I want to sleep and wake up when it’s all better so I don’t have to worry about me or Bella. But no luck with that I suppose. Yesterday was my birthday and I don’t know if I could ever have a worse day again. Awful bday… that’s for sure.

Anyway. There’s my story! Bella will hopefully be coming home tonight around 6… I am just
praying that she is getting better and that she will eat and drink and continue on the antibiotics till she is completely better. I’m too stressed and miserable to deal with anything else. On the bright side of things I have been reading a lot. I just finished with the fourth book in the Marked series. I love them. I’d totally recommend them. I’m frustrated I have to wait till March to read the next one though =(. Going to start a new book now. It’s called the Hunger Games. Stephenie Meyer, Author of Twilight, recommended it on her website. So we’ll see I suppose.